The Mom in Me

It’s finally happened! I woke up this morning and realized “The Mom in Me” is a Beast.

She’s afraid and sees awful things around every turn…

She’s a list maker of unknown proportions…

She’s a hoverer like no other…

and She’s not ready to let them go!!

How did this happen?? I was so sure that as I’ve seen my sons grow, become more steady, more independent, more sure of themselves. I’d be cheering them out the door, packing them up, and patting myself on the back for a job well done. I mean, I was ready, I am ready? Aren’t I?

What brings on this shutter of uncertainty?

It’s laughable, really. Not a huge thing at all. Just a small camping trip. A week away, Saturday to Saturday, just a few days away…no big deal, right? I mean right?

WRONG! I am not okay! I am freaking out! There are red flashing lights and neon signs saying, “NOOOOOOOO”, screaming, “NO”, and I am not okay!

I should be better than this. I have a freshman and a 7th grader, these boys are taller than I, they laugh at my everything and I often miss the joke. For a long while now, they’ve tied their own shoes, picked out their own clothes, and have developed and expressed opinions that differ from mine. The signs are all there.

Sadly, this is the first of many times I’ll have to hold the BEAST in and let them go…

I’ll encourage their steps…

I’ll cheer them on…

and cry on the inside. Cry for the forgotten moments, when they actually needed me. Cry for the times when my thoughts were their thoughts. Cry for the unspoken agreement that when they were ready, I would willingly set them free. Cry for the babies that are no more, and pray I did all I could to prepare them.

“The Mom in Me” is a BEAST and we’ll figure out how to let them go…one step at a time.

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